Why should I live when I am useless? I cannot do anything right. I can never please my parents. Each time when I think about it I feel really sad. I feel like I should just let myself go. I want to leave this cruel place. I want to leave this place so much. I am useless. I am dumb. I am a bad girl. I am the worst person ever to live. All I am in this place is a bunch of matter. All I can do in this place is to take up space. Other than taking up space I cannot do anything else that is right. That is what was put into my head by my parents. They even told me that they do not know why they even gave birth to me. They told me that they rather give birth to dirt then to me. That let me know that even dirt is better than me. I just want to leave this place, but if I do that then my friends who loves me will be sad and I do not want that. I do not want my friends and some of my family members who love me to be sad when I leave. Not just that, I have been told by a close friend that he/she do not want me to leave. He/she told me that if I just let myself go then he/she will be really sad and mad at me. All of my friends are too close and such a good friends to me that I do not want them to get hurt because of me. I do not think that I am worth it. I am not worth it for anyone to be sad or hurt because of me. I rather have everyone forget about me instead of getting hurt. I rather have everyone just live on with their happy lives then to be sad, hurt, or live near a girl like me. What should I do now? I want to leave go but I cannot. If I leave there will be people who will be sad or hurt because of me. Then again if I stay people will be mad, upset, disappointed, sad, and have problems. I was told that all of this was cause by me. What should I do? What can I do? I did seek help for my problems before but still end up in the same place again. I always end up in a position where I just want to end this whole problem. All the people who try to help me get rid of my bad feelings but in the end the feelings are still there staring me in the face. What should I do? Should I just leave and get rid of this for good or should I just live on with my live now and learn to deal with it? What is the right and the best way to go?
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